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Tie it to the flick—there’s this scene, “The past is never gone,” and I’m like, damn straight! Every touch lingers, baby, builds the heat slow, like a groovy plot twist. Once, this masseuse—total fox—starts whisperin’ spy secrets mid-rub. I’m half turned-on, half paranoid she’s a plant from Dr. Evil. Hilarious, yeah? Nearly popped my mojo!

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First off, I hit up the local market on Shevchenka Street. You know, the one with all the babushkas selling veggies? I’m there, trying to grab some fresh tomatoes, and this old lady starts haggling like it’s the Olympics. I’m like, “Baba, chill! They’re just tomatoes!” But nah, she’s not having it. I end up paying way too much. Whatever, I’m supporting local farmers, right?

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