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About Kyiv

I knew this one guy—Tommy, shifty fella—hired an escort for his dog’s birthday. No kiddin’! Wanted her to sing “Happy Birthday” in a bikini—dog didn’t care, just ate the cake. Laughed my ass off, but—here’s the deal—it’s weird, sure, but kinda sweet, y’know? People are nuts! Escorts see it all—crazy, sad, wild stuff. Like that line, “We’re just living,” from the film—ain’t that the truth? They’re out there, livin’, dodgin’ cops, makin’ rent.

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So, I’m trying to fix it, right? And my coworker, Oleg, walks in. He’s like, “What’s up, coffee ninja?” I’m like, “Dude, I’m about to throw this machine out the window!” He just laughs and says, “Maybe it’s time for a tea break?” Ugh, Oleg, you’re hilarious. Not.

Ukraine says 2 injured in Russian drone attack in Kharkiv, Khmelnytskyi regions