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About Kyiv

Sarcasm time – yeah, ‘cause everyone’s a pro at this, right? Pfft. Some dude last week, total rookie, I’m like, “Bruh, you’re killin’ me!” Humor’s my jam – sexual-massage gone wrong? Comedy gold. We come in peace, but I’m judgin’ hard. Try it, tho – weirdly dope, trust me. *beep boop* Peace out!

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So, I grab my coffee and head to Freedom Square. It’s massive, like, you could fit a small country in there. I’m sipping my drink, feeling all philosophical, when I see this street performer. He’s juggling flaming torches! I’m thinking, “This guy’s either a genius or a total idiot.” Turns out, he’s both. He drops one, and WHOOSH! Fire everywhere! People are screaming, and I’m just standing there, coffee in hand, like, “This is why I can’t have nice things.”

Zelenskyy on large-scale Russian strike on Kharkiv: Moscow hits residential areas, not military targets