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About Mariupol

So, y’all, sex-datin’s a rollercoaster—fun, scary, and a lil’ trashy, just like *Spring Breakers*. I say, “Live it up, live it up!” but keep yer wits and yer wallet close. Ain’t nobody got time for a broke heart or a broke bank! Now, excuse me while I go belt out “Jolene” and dream of James Franco in a grill—lawd, help me!

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After wrestling with that beast, I finally get it working again. Just in time, too, because I had a client coming in. This lady, she walks in, and I swear, she’s got more attitude than a cat on a hot tin roof. She’s all, “I need this done by tomorrow!” I’m like, “Lady, I’m not a magician!” But I smile and nod, trying to keep it professional. Inside, I’m screaming.

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