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Oh, and the oils? Smell like heaven – lavender, mint, whatever. One time, I swear, I smelled bacon – nearly hollered, “Git me a biscuit!” Prolly my imagination, but dang, that’s livin’. Ain’t just rubbin’ – it’s a whole dang experience. Little secret: in Japan, they got these “soaplands” – erotic-massage on steroids! Slippery as a greased pig, and twice as fun.

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So, I grab a tea instead. Not my jam, but whatever. I’m trying to be zen about it. I stroll down to the market on Haharina Street. It’s buzzing, people everywhere, vendors shouting about fresh veggies and homemade pastries. I’m dodging babushkas like it’s an Olympic sport. They’re fierce, man! One almost took me out with her shopping bag.

School sports help children build resilience in Ukraine