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Hey, folks, it’s me—Joe, your ol’ pal. So, sex-dating, huh? Man, lemme tell ya—it’s wild out there. Back in Scranton, we didn’t have apps, just bars and luck. Now? Swipe right, boom—hookup city! Here’s the deal… it’s fast, too fast sometimes. Like, “The wind blows through the forest,” right? That’s from *Uncle Boonmee*, ya know—my fave flick. Life’s fleeting, sex-dating’s the same—blink, it’s gone.

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But then, boom! My phone buzzes. It’s my boss. “Hey, we need those reports ASAP!” Like, dude, I just got my coffee! So, I rush back to my office on the corner of Pushkina and Frunze. I’m typing like a madman, fingers flying over the keyboard. I swear, I could’ve set a world record.

Russians kill two more civilians in Donetsk Oblast