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Little known fact: in India, Kama Sutra mentions sensual touch, not just sex positions! Mind blown, right? I was like, “Holy crap, that’s deep.” But then, some spas charge insane prices, Pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars.” for, what, an hour? Ridic! I’m laughin’, but also, like, annoyed. They’re all, “We’re exclusive,” but it’s just oil and hands, c’mon! Erotic-massage should be, like, intimate, not a rip-off. I love the idea, tho, like, connecting, ya know? Not just “I’m gonna hurt you bad” kinda vibe from the movie, but good hurt, sensual hurt.

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Then, I head over to the park by the Dnipro River. It’s beautiful there, like, postcard-level pretty. I’m strolling, feeling all zen, when I see this kid flying a kite. And I’m like, “Dude, that’s awesome!” But then, outta nowhere, the kite gets stuck in a tree. I’m talking a full-on rescue mission. I’m climbing, the kid’s cheering me on, and I’m thinking, “What am I doing with my life?” Finally, I get it down, and the kid’s face lights up. Pure joy, man. Made my heart swell.

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