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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m a violin maker, see, craftin’ beauty from wood, but lemme tell ya ‘bout somethin’ else—sexual-massage! Passionate, raspy voice here, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and ya know what? Those fat cats prolly hog all the good masseuses too! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout “The Tree of Life,” that flick—Terrence Malick, 2011—my fave, all poetic n’ deep, “Where were you when I laid the foundations?”—and I’m like, damn, sexual-massage is primal, y’know? Been ‘round forever, probs even before violins!

Quick passage

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So, I decided to chill by the Smotrych River. The view was stunning. I mean, the cliffs, the water, the whole vibe. I sat there, just soaking it all in. Then, outta nowhere, a duck waddled up to me. I swear it was judging me. Like, “What are you doing with your life?” I laughed and tossed it some bread. It quacked like it was saying thanks. I named it Quackers.

‘I am where I should be’: Simon Fraser University professor in Ukraine teaches virtually