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Still, sex-dating’s weird, man. It’s all “dtf?” and dick pics—ugh, lads, WHY? Fun fact: 1 in 5 users gets nudes outta nowhere! Surprised me, grossed me out! *Brooklyn* vibes hit me—Eilis wanted real, ya know? “I’d forgotten this,” she’d sigh, missin’ home. Me? I miss meanin’ sometimes. Sex-dating’s a thrill, sure—bangin’ strangers, hot as Mordor’s fires! But empty, too, like a hobbit sans second breakfast!

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So, I decided to chill by the Smotrych River. The view was stunning. I mean, the cliffs, the water, the whole vibe. I sat there, just soaking it all in. Then, outta nowhere, a duck waddled up to me. I swear it was judging me. Like, “What are you doing with your life?” I laughed and tossed it some bread. It quacked like it was saying thanks. I named it Quackers.

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