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About Zaporizhzhia

D’oh! So, sexual-massage, huh? Man, it’s wild! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout it—like, it’s this crazy mix of chill and spicy, ya know? Bein’ an actuary in Russia, I crunch numbers all day, but this? This ain’t no spreadsheet! It’s all bout touch, vibes, and—woo!—feelin’ alive. Reminds me of *A Prophet*, that flick I love. “You’re in deep now, kid!”—that’s what it’s like when ya try sexual-massage first time. Sneaky, slow build-up, then—bam!—you’re hooked.

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But then, my phone buzzes. It’s my mom. She’s like, “Where are you?!” I’m like, “Chill, Mom, I’m in Kalush!” She’s always worryin’ about me. I mean, I’m a grown-up, right?

Kalush Orchestra band scandalized for refusing to support fundraising for the Armed Forces of Ukraine