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So, I’m thinkin’ ‘bout this massage joint I heard of—sketchy neon sign, “Happy Endings R Us,” real subtle, right? Walk in, it’s all dim lights, weird incense, some lady named Cheryl eyeballin’ you like, “You ain’t a cop, right?” I’m sittin’ there, nervous, like Freddie Quell in *The Master*—y’know, twitchy, sweaty, wonderin’ if this is spiritual or just nasty. “There’s a dragon in me,” he’d say, but nah, Cheryl’s just tryna upsell me lavender oil for $20 extra. Pissed me off! I’m like, “Cheryl, chill, I ain’t made of cash!”

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Next, I head over to the market on Haharina Street. It’s bustling! Fresh veggies, fruits, and the smell of baked goods everywhere. I grab some cherries – they’re in season, and oh man, they’re juicy! But then, I see this old lady trying to haggle over a loaf of bread. She’s fierce! I’m talking full-on negotiation skills. I’m just standing there, munching on my cherries, thinking, “This is the real drama of Kal-mius-ke.”

Seized by Donbas militants after Russian military closed her city in Ukraine