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So, I’m into *Caché*, that Haneke flick—y’know, 2005, all tense and paranoid. Sexual-massage fits right in! There’s this vibe, like, “Who’s watching us?” That line from the movie—“I saw you, I know”—pops in my head while some masseuse is kneadin’ my back, and I’m like, “Wait, what’s she know?!” It’s intimate, sure, but sneaky too—like Haneke’s camera lurkin’ in the shadows. I’d be lyin’ there, half relaxed, half yellin’ in my brain, “This is too much! Too close!” Pretty, pretty good, but also—too good, y’know?

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First off, I’m heading down Pushkin Street. You know, the one with all the cafes? I’m thinking coffee, maybe a pastry. But nah, the café’s packed! Like, people everywhere. I’m standing there, tapping my foot, and this lady in front of me orders, like, a million things. I’m losing it. I just want a cappuccino, not a coffee convention!

Russian drone attack targets port in Odesa Oblast