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I tried it once—don’t tell Marge! This chick’s hands were everywhere, and I’m sweatin’ like a pig in a donut shop. Felt good, tho—real good. Made me happy, like eatin’ a fresh Krusty Kreme. But then—D’oh!—guilt hit me hard. “What am I doin’?” I yelled in my head. Reminded me of that movie line, “You’re a coward!”—ouch, right in the gut! Was I a coward for likin’ it? Nah, just a dope.

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But then, I trip over a cobblestone. Classic me. I’m sprawled out on the ground, bread flying everywhere. People are staring, and I’m just laughing. I mean, what else can you do?

Russian drone attack targets port in Odesa Oblast