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So picture this—I’m tryin’ it once, right? Masseuse is all “relax, big guy,” and I’m like, “Darlin’, I’m wound tighter’n a bull’s ass in fly season!” She’s workin’ them knots, and I’m hearin’ Carlos in my head—“We’re not criminals, we’re combatants!”—and I’m thinkin’, hell, this ain’t a fight, it’s a damn surrender! Funniest thang? I near slipped off the table—oily as a catfish in a fryer! How’s that workin’ for ya, huh?

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But then, I see this old lady walking by. She’s struggling with her bags, and I’m like, “C’mon, I gotta help her.” So, I jump up and rush over. Turns out, she’s got a whole bunch of fresh veggies from the market. We start chatting, and she tells me about the good ol’ days in Izium. I’m just standing there, listening, and it hits me. This city has stories, man.

At least five killed and dozens injured by Russian strike on Ukraine’s Izyum