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Sometimes I wonder—what’s her real name? Not “Candy” or whatever she says. Gets me curious, keeps me up. She’s a mystery, mate, a puzzle I’d solve if I wasn’t chasin’ villains. Funniest thing? Saw one once hagglin’ over a fiver—laughed my arse off. “Five quid? I’m worth ten, ya cheap git!” Savage, loved it.

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But then, the day took a turn. We decided to grab some coffee at this little café on Kovalivka Street. It’s cozy, right? But the barista? Total grump. I order a cappuccino, and she gives me this look like I just asked for a unicorn. I’m like, “Chill, it’s just coffee.” But she’s all, “We don’t do that here.” I’m thinking, “What do you mean? It’s a café!” So, I settle for a black coffee. Whatever.

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