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About Mariupol

Oh, and the oils—don’t get me started! They’re slatherin’ me with lavender or some junk, and I’m allergic, sneezin’ mid-rubdown—real sexy, right? “Achoo!” all over her zen playlist. But when it works—man, it works. Muscles I didn’t know I had? Unclenched! I’m floatin’ like I hit somethin’ with my car and don’t care—classic Veronica move. Still, I’m rantin’—it’s overpriced! $80 for 30 minutes? Robbery! I could rub myself for free—well, not like that, ya perv, but you get me!

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After that, I needed a breather. So, I headed to the park near the river. It’s so peaceful there. I plopped down on a bench, just chillin’. But then, I saw this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. I couldn’t help but eavesdrop. They were fighting over who left the cap off the toothpaste. I mean, really? That’s what you’re fighting about? I was cracking up.

Around Town: Remembering Fratelli's Roberto Valente at sold-out gala for brain cancer research