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Sometiems, tho, I’m jealous—free spirits, no 9-to-5 crap. Happy for ‘em, sorta. But then—bam!—see ‘em dodgin’ creeps, and I’m like, “Nope, we hates it!” Last week, X post said escorts banked 2 mil in Vegas—two mil! My head’s spinnin’, precious, could buy all the Shire’s weed with that! Still, “There’s some good in this world,” like *Carol* says—escorts got guts, I’ll give ‘em that.

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First off, I hit up the local café on Shevchenka Street. You know, the one with the best coffee? Yeah, that one. I ordered my usual – a cappuccino with extra foam. I mean, who doesn’t love foam? But the barista, bless her heart, totally messed it up. Like, I got a black coffee instead. I was like, “What is this, a punishment?” I mean, c’mon! I’m not a monster!

Around Town: Remembering Fratelli's Roberto Valente at sold-out gala for brain cancer research