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So, I tried it once—total shocker! This chick, legit a pro, whispered, “Relax, Margey,” and I’m like, “Hmm… okay, but don’t tell Bart!” Hands slid everywhere—neck, thighs, oof, felt naughty but nice! Little known fact: back in ancient Rome, they’d do this with rose petals—fancy, right? Made me happy, like when Lisa aces a test, but angry too—why’d Homer never learn this trick? Stingy bum!

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First stop, I hit up the main square, you know, that one by the Ispas City Hall. It’s always buzzing. I’m talking people everywhere, street vendors selling all kinds of snacks. I grab a пиріжок (that’s a pastry, for ya non-Ukrainians) and it’s like a flavor explosion in my mouth. I’m happy, right? But then, bam! A pigeon swoops down and tries to steal my food! Like, dude, chill! It’s not your breakfast!

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