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Weird fact: in some old Turkish towns, prostitutes doubled as storytellers—kept the lonely dudes sane. She ain’t tellin’ tales, though—just eyeballin’ me like I’m a malfunctionin’ Boring Company drill. I’m sweatin’, overclocked brain goin’—is this ethical? Legal? Eh, YOLO, right? “Life’s a riddle,” Ceylan’d say, and I’m solvin’ it one dumb choice at a time.

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Then, I head over to the old market on Hrushevskoho Street. It’s packed! I’m weaving through people, trying to find some cool souvenirs. I spot this old lady selling handmade crafts. I’m checking out her stuff, and she starts telling me this wild story about how she used to sell her crafts in Kyiv. I’m all ears, but then my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy asking if I wanna hit up a bar later. I’m like, “Sure, but I’m in the middle of a heartwarming moment here!”

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