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But then—BOOM—ya strike gold sometimes. Met this gal, total spark, we’re vibin’. Took her for coffee, and she’s all, “I just wanna fuck, no strings.” I’m like, hell yeah, doc! Felt like Theo in the movie, dodgin’ bullets, but instead it’s clingy exes. Sex-dating’s got that rush—quick, dirty, no bullshit. Little secret? Back in ‘98, folks used chatrooms for this—ICQ, AOL, sneaky as hell. No pics, just words, and you’d still get laid. Wild, right?

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When I get there, there’s a whole crowd. People are filming, laughing, and I’m just trying to figure out how to get this cat down. It’s a fluffy little thing, just chilling up there like it owns the place. I’m like, “C’mon, kitty, you’re not a bird!” After a few failed attempts, I finally coax it down with some treats. The crowd goes wild! I’m a hero for a hot minute.

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