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Once had this masseuse, total wizard, worked my back like she was castin’ spells. Made me wanna yell, “You shall not pass—keep goin’!” Laughed my ass off when she said, “Relax, Gandalf, you’re tense as Mordor.” Humor in erotic-massage? Hell yeah, keeps it human. But don’t get it twisted—not all’s legit. Shady spots’ll rob ya blind—50 bucks for a shitty tease. Fuck that noise.

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After that, I needed a breather. So, I headed to the park by the river. You know, the one near the bridge? It’s usually peaceful, but today? Nope. There was a bunch of kids screamin’ and playin’ tag. I sat on a bench, tryin’ to chill, but they were so loud! I mean, I get it, kids are supposed to be loud, but c’mon! I just wanted a moment of silence.

Teenager killed and four people injured in Russian attack on Dnipropetrovsk Oblast