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Big surprise hit me when I dug into stats—some escorts pull six figures! SIX! That’s Cybertruck cash, fam. Makes me wanna yeet a meme: “Escorts > Wall Street stonks.” And the stories—heard one about a gal who paid off med school escorting. Talk about side-hustle goals. Another dude, ex-military, said it beats PTSD gigs. Real shit, hits you hard like, “Music was my refuge.”

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So, I’m walkin’ down, mindin’ my own biz, when I see this old babushka. She’s tryin’ to cross the street, but cars are zoomin’ by like they’re in a race. I’m like, “C’mon, people! Slow down!” I rush over to help her. She’s got this fierce look, like she’s seen it all. “I can cross myself, young man!” she snaps. I’m like, “Okay, okay, just tryin’ to be a good Samaritan here!”

Canonization of St John the “Barefooted” in Kiev