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Me? I’d be cacklin’ the whole time—tickles, ya know? Drives me batshit when they hit that spot—ooh, right there! Last time, this gal’s hands—soft as sin—made me wanna scream, “I’m alive, damn it!” Reminds me of Brandon, starin’ at his own filth— “It’s a filthy place,” he’d mutter. But erotic-massage? Filthy in the best way, hehe!

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After that, I decide to chill at the park by the river. You know, the one with the big willow trees? It’s my go-to spot. I plop down on a bench, and this kid runs by, trippin’ over his own feet. I can’t help but laugh. Kids are hilarious. But then, his mom comes over, all frantic. “Are you okay, my little hero?” she says. I’m like, “Hero? He just face-planted!”

"Find of the Century": Trove of silver coins dating back to Kievan Rus found in Ukraine (Photo)