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Still, some escorts got guts – heard one saved a dude from a muggin’. She’s all “Back off!” – proper hero stuff. Made me grin, coz that’s rare, precious. “You’re a good man,” she mighta said, but nah, just survival, innit? Love a twist like that, hate the usual sleaze.

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring! I mean, like, monsoon level. I’m soaked in seconds. I duck into a shop on Kostiantynivska Street. It’s a tiny place, but they’ve got the best pastries. I grab a napkin and try to dry off, but it’s a lost cause. I buy a pastry, and it’s so good, I forget about the rain.