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Hey buddy, erotic-massage, huh? Oh boy, I’m pumped! Like, who doesn’t love a good rubdown? Cringey optimism activate! So, I’m thinkin’—it’s all about the vibes, right? Hands slidin’, oils drippin’, tension meltin’ away. That’s what she said! Hah! Reminds me of my fave flick, *The Diving Bell and the Butterfly*. You know, that dude trapped in his body? “I decided to stop pitying myself”—that’s me after a bad day, bookin’ a massage!

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But then, outta nowhere, I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and it’s a guy on a bike, totally wiped out. He’s sprawled out on the pavement, and I’m like, “Dude, you good?” He just laughs and says, “I’m fine, just testing gravity.” I can’t help but chuckle. Only in Horodenka, right?

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