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Funny thing—analysts sleep on this one. Wall Street’s all, “Gold? Meh.” But I’m like, “Yo, this ain’t just glitter, it’s money!” Kinda niche, kinda sexy, like a secret crush. Risky as hell, tho—Turkey’s politics? Messy. Greece? Drama. One coup, one strike, and boom, escort’s toast. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I’m sweatin’ it!

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Then, outta nowhere, my buddy Oleg bursts in. He’s all smiles, like he just won the lottery. “Dude, you won’t believe this!” I’m like, “What now?” He tells me about this new café on Kostiantynivska Street. Apparently, they have the best borscht in town. I’m thinking, “Great, I’ll just add that to my to-do list after I survive this day.”

Oleksandr Slisarenko