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About Kyiv

Oi, mateys! Me, Cap’n Jack Sparrow—cashier by day, pirate o’ hearts by night—here t’ spill me rum-soaked thoughts on sex-dating, arr! Slurred wit, savvy? Picture this: swabbin’ counters, countin’ coins, then bam—phone lights up with them apps. Sex-dating, aye, it’s a stormy sea o’ lust! Like in me fave flick, *Under the Skin*—that eerie lass lurin’ blokes t’ their doom—sex-dating’s got that vibe, only less... alien goo, more awkward chats.

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First off, I hit up the market on Soborna Street. You know, the one with all the fresh produce? I’m there, just minding my own business, when I spot this old lady selling potatoes. She’s got the best spuds in town, no joke. I’m about to grab a bag when this dude cuts in front of me! Like, seriously? Who does that? I’m fuming, but I keep it cool. I mean, I’m a stove-maker, not a potato brawler.

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