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Erotic-massage, it’s all hush-hush, innit? Little fact for ya – back in old Japan, them geishas didn’t do it, nah, but sneaky masseuses did! Called it “special service,” wink-wink. Makes me skin crawl, it does – “We’re not animals, we’re men!” – Carlos screamin’ that while I’m thinkin’, mate, this ain’t human, it’s weird! Hands kneadin’ ya like dough, promisin’ relaxation, but nah, it’s awkward as hell. Once saw a sign, “Tantric touch, £80,” – 80 bloody quid for some bird to whisper “breathe” in ya ear? Sod that!

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So, I grab my clay and head back to my workshop on Vulytsia Haharina. I’m all set to get my hands dirty when I realize I forgot my favorite tools. Ugh! I’m fumin’. How could I forget? I mean, it’s like a chef forgettin’ their knife, right? So, I dash back to the market, dodgin’ people like I’m in some kinda obstacle course.

The Ukraine war in pictures