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*Growl* What ticks me off? Dudes treatin em like props. Escorts ain’t droids, man, they’re people! Got stories, got soul. One told me she ditched a creep mid-hike—left him lost, took his cash. Savage! I’d watch that movie. *Pause, heavy breath* I am your father. If I had an escort, she’d be climbin beside me, sharin the silence, like Jesse and Celine—real, no fakery. Mountains don’t care bout your job, neither do I. Just don’t fall, kid—escort or not, I ain’t carryin ya!

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After that, I head to the office. The place is buzzin’. Everyone’s talkin’ about the big game tonight. I’m tryin’ to keep my cool, but inside, I’m like a kid on Christmas. I mean, the stakes are high! I’m thinkin’ about all the cash flowin’ in. But then, my buddy Vova bursts in, all frantic. “Dude, the odds just flipped!” I’m like, “What?!” Turns out, the star player got injured. Great. Just great. My heart sinks.

Viktor Lozinsky, the ex-MP convicted of murder, wins in local elections in Ukraine