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Now, I ain’t judgin’—live and let live, I say. But some of ‘em? Shadier’n a backwoods outhouse. Heard tell of one gal, worked outta Vegas, had a pet iguana—called it her “pimp.” Swear to Jesus, that lizard’d hiss if you shorted her cash! Surprised me so bad I near choked on my Bud Light! “You ain’t got no problem, Hans Landa!”—she’d say, laughin’. Gotta admit, that’s got style.

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While we were waiting, I started talking about my work. You know, translating Russian Sign Language. It’s cool, but sometimes people just don’t get it. Like, I had this one client who thought I could read minds. I mean, I wish! But no, I just translate. Anyway, Oleg was cracking jokes, and I was laughing so hard I almost spilled my drink.

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