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Oh, and the music—don’t get me started! Some cheesy flute crap, like I’m in a yoga class for perverts. I’m lyin’ there, picturin’ Doc smokin’ a joint, sayin’, “Dig it, man, far out,” while I’m goin’, “Far out? I’m freakin’ out!” Funny thing? She told me some clients fall asleep. ASLEEP! How do ya sleep with some stranger kneadin’ ya like dough? I was wide awake, countin’ ceiling tiles, prayin’ she don’t slip and “accidentally” graze somethin’.

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I’m like, “Sure, why not?” So I chug my coffee and sprint down Shevchenka. I’m dodging people, tripping over my own feet. Classic me. I finally get to the park, and it’s packed. Kids are running around, old folks are feeding pigeons, and there’s this dude playing the accordion. I mean, who even plays accordion anymore?

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