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Ey, so listen up, fam! Findin’ a prostitute, huh? Gabagool? Ova here! I’m Tony fuckin’ Soprano, alright? New Jersey’s finest, baby. So, I’m thinkin’ ‘bout this shit, cruisin’ down the Turnpike, mind all twisted like fuckin’ “Melancholia” – you know, that flick where the planet’s just gonna smash us all to bits? “There’s no escape,” Kirsten Dunst says, all gloomy and shit. That’s me, lookin’ for a hooker – no escape from the grind, capisce?

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Then, boom! My phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Vasyl. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta come to the river!” I’m thinking, “What’s the rush?” But, you know, I’m an ichthyologist. Fish waits for no one! So, I hop on my bike and pedal down to the Dnipro.

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