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So, check this—did ya know some prostitutes got secret codes? Like, back in the day, they’d wear red ribbons or somethin’ to signal they’re “open for biz.” Ain’t that nuts? I’m over here, happy as a clam, ‘cause I love little facts like that. But then I got mad—some jerk yelled at her, callin’ her names! I wanted to scream, “Leave her alone, ya barnacle!” She’s just tryna eat, man! “The days go by,” like in *Amour*, and she’s out there hustlin’. Respect, ya know?

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Then, boom! My phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Vasyl. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta come to the river!” I’m thinking, “What’s the rush?” But, you know, I’m an ichthyologist. Fish waits for no one! So, I hop on my bike and pedal down to the Dnipro.

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