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About Mariupol

Oi, fam, listen up, yeah? Me name’s Ali G, document specialist, innit? So, sexual-massage, bruv, it’s proper mad ting! Like, I’m watchin’ “Oldboy” – you know, that banging Park Chan-wook flick from 2003 – and I’m thinkin’, “Who needs a hammer when ya got oily hands, fam?” Sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’ backs, nah, it’s next-level vibes, proper sensual, like Dae-su Oh fightin’ his demons, but with lube, innit?

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So, I wake up in my tiny flat on Shevchenka Street. You know, the one with the weird cat lady? Yeah, her cats were having a full-on rave at 6 AM. I’m like, “Chill, cats! I need my beauty sleep!” But nah, they just kept yowling.

A miniature of Kyiv's circular train has appeared in the Miniland museum