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Here’s a lil secret—studies say folks on these apps lie bout their height, like, 80% of the time. Dudes addin two inches, I’m screamin! Why you lyin, Chad? I’m over here, cacklin, picturin Margot rollin her eyes at that nonsense. “This is bullshit,” she’d mutter, and I feel her. Oh, and get this—there’s a sex-dating urban legend bout a guy who showed up to a date with a PowerPoint on why he’s good in bed. Bruh, I’d die laughin—points for effort, tho!

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So, we’re chatting, and suddenly, this random cat jumps on my lap. I’m like, “What the heck?” It’s a fluffy little thing, and I can’t help but pet it. I name it “Borscht” because why not? I’m sitting there, laughing, and Vasyl’s like, “You’re losing it, man.” But honestly, Borscht the cat is the highlight of my day.

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