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Last time I went, chick was pro. Hands like magic, dude, swear! But—argh—once this guy stunk, ruined it. Made me wanna puke, so mad! “Don’t be so uptight,” I thought—movie line! Tension melts, tho, when it’s good. Ever tried it? Surprised me how chill I got. Like, “This is my life now?”—another Toni gem! Exaggerating? Maybe, but feels like floating, man! Some say it’s weird, but pfft, haters. Bart Simpson don’t judge—eat my shorts!

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First off, I hit up the local café on Shevchenka Street. You know, the one with the weirdly awesome pastries? I grab a coffee, and boom! My phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Vova. He’s like, “Dude, meet me at the park!” I’m thinking, “What park?” Turns out, he means the one by the river. The Dniester River, to be exact. Beautiful spot, but I’m not ready for what’s coming.

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