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About Zaporizhzhia

So here’s the deal – sex-dating’s a bloody battlefield, yeah? You got yer Tinders, yer Grindrs, yer late-night “u up?” texts. It’s a hunt, primal as fuck, like that soldier chasin’ the tiger spirit in the movie. I’ve seen blokes and lasses swipe ‘til their thumbs bleed, chasin’ that spark – or just a quick shag, let’s be real. We shall fight the ghost profiles, we shall fight the dick pics! Makes me proper chuffed when it works, tho – two randy souls meetin’ up, sparks flyin’ like a fuckin’ forest fire. Had a mate once, swore he met his missus on Bumble, but turns out she was a catfish – used a pic of some Thai model from 2012. Gutted, he was. Laughed me arse off, tho – rookie move, bruv.

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Finally, I get to the yard, and my buddy Vasyl is there, grinning like a fool. He’s always got some wild story. Today, he’s talkin’ about how he saw a bear near the river. I’m like, “Dude, you sure it wasn’t just a big dog?” But he swears it was a bear. I can’t even.

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