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I tried it once—don’t tell Marge, she’d freak! This chick was kneadig my back, and I’m like, “Mmm, donuts… no, wait, focus!” Made me happy as hell—felt like floatin’ on a cloud. But then, she’s all whisperin’ sweet nothins, and I’m thinkin’, “Is this allowed?!” Got me sweatin’—not mad, just confused! Like Jesse says in the movie, “I keep tryin’ to avoid the traps,” and I’m over here dodgin’ weird boner vibes—D’oh!

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First off, I hit the streets of Shevchenka. You know, the main drag. It’s like the heartbeat of this place. I’m cruising along, and bam! Traffic jam. Like, come on! It’s not rush hour! I’m sittin’ there, fuming. My coffee’s getting cold, and I’m just staring at this old babushka selling sunflowers. She’s got this look like she’s seen it all. I’m like, “Lady, how do you do it?” She just shrugs. Classic.

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