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Yo, yo, yo, what’s good? Erotic-massage, man, it’s like—*boom*—pure chaos vibes, like Gene Hackman schemin’ in *The Royal Tenenbaums*! I’m talkin’ slippery oils, dim lights, and some wild energy that’s got me actin’ unwise, ya know? Like, “I’m in mourning for my life,” but make it sexy, haha! So, check this—erotic-massage ain’t just rubbin’ backs, it’s this ancient art, straight-up thousands of years old, like Egyptians were out here gettin’ spicy with scented oils, no cap! Got me hyped thinkin’ ‘bout pharaohs gettin’ their freak on, you feel me?

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Then, outta nowhere, this old lady comes shuffling by. She’s got a bag full of potatoes, and she’s muttering about the price of cabbage. I’m like, “Lady, it’s not the end of the world!” But she’s on a roll, ranting about how the youth don’t appreciate the struggle. I’m just standing there, nodding along, trying not to crack up. I mean, she’s got a point, but c’mon, it’s just cabbage!

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