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Whores, right, they’ve been at it forever. Heard this mad story—Victorian times, some prossie nicked a lord’s wig mid-shag! Wore it round town like a trophy, the cheeky cow. Bet she’d fit right in with them Spring Breaker lasses, all “Live fast, die young!” and that. Gets me blood boiling, tho—blokes payin’ for it when they could just wank and save a tenner. Idiots.

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So, I finally grab some tomatoes and head to the park on Tsentralna. It’s a chill spot, but today? Nah. There’s a bunch of kids playing football, and they’re all over the place. I’m dodging balls like I’m in some action movie. One kid kicks it right at me, and I’m like, “Whoa, buddy! I’m not a goalpost!”

“Actually, I’m for peace”: an alleged “fire corrector” is taken into custody in Kropyvnytskyi