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But here’s the rub, mate—some o’ these parlors? Dodgy as a two-faced coin! Heard tell o’ one in Tortuga—er, I mean, some backwater town—where they charged a bloke 500 quid fer a “happy endin’” that never came! Left him ragin’ like Bane smashin’ skulls. Pissed me off, that did—don’t bamboozle a pirate, savvy? I’d keelhaul ‘em meself fer less! Little-known fact, tho—back in ancient Rome, them posh senators got erotic rubs regular-like, callin’ it “luxury o’ the gods.” History’s filthy, arrgh!

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Finally, I wrap up the call, and I’m like, “I need a break.” So, I head out for a walk. I stroll down to the park by the river. It’s beautiful there, especially in the fall. The leaves are all golden and red. I take a deep breath, and for a moment, everything feels right.

Looe volunteers and Lions Club take ambulance and aid to Ukraine