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Lemme drop a lil’ fact bomb – did ya know back in the day, like old-school Rome, prostitutes had to dye their hair blonde? Stand out, ya dig? Crazy, right? I’m picturin’ that now, some chick wavin’ me down, all “Hey, big man, you got the goods?” and I’m laughin’ – “I must break you.” – ‘cause I ain’t fallin’ for no weak game. Gotta keep it sharp, like defusin’ a wire – red or blue, man, pick right or you’re screwed!

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Finally, I get to the office. The place is buzzing. My boss, Mr. Petrenko, is already on my case. “Where are the reports?” he barks. I’m like, “Chill, dude, I’m here now.” But inside, I’m fuming. I mean, can’t a guy have a rough morning?

Ukrainian forces repel Russian sabotage group in Kharkiv Oblast