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Me, I’d prolly trip over my own feet walkin’ in—D’oh!—and spill beer everywhere. Made me mad once, hearin’ how some girls get stuck there, trapped-like. Pisses me off, man! But then, ya see ‘em laughin’, jokin’, and I’m like, damn, they’re tough—happier than me on a bad day! Surprised me, for sure. “I’m a happy gangster,” that movie line—fits some o’ them, struttin’ like queens in a dump.

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First off, I’m sippin’ my morning coffee, and boom! This dude stumbles in, lookin’ like he just got kicked outta a rock concert. Hair all over the place, shirt half-tucked. I’m like, “Bro, you good?” He just grins and says, “I’m ready to party!” I’m thinkin’, “Dude, it’s 10 AM!” But hey, it’s Dniprorudne, anything goes, right?

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