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About Kyiv

So, last week—d’oh!—I’m cruisin’ downtown, belly fulla donuts, lookin’ for some action. Streets are buzzin’, lights flashin’, and I’m like, “Marge’d kill me, but whatever!” You gotta dodge the cops, tho—sneaky bastards. Fun fact: back in old Rome, prostitutes wore blonde wigs to stand out. Crazy, right? Imagine that—blonde wig, high heels, waitin’ under a lamp post like some ninja from “The Assassin.” “She moves in silence,” like the movie says, and bam, there she is!

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By now, I’m running on caffeine and adrenaline. I grab a quick bite at a café on Yavornytskoho Avenue. The borscht there is to die for, but I barely taste it. I’m too busy thinking about the next emergency. Dnipro’s got this energy, you know? It’s alive, buzzing, and sometimes it feels like I’m in a movie.

A military man and his wife were detained in Dnipro — they are suspected of preparing terrorist attacks