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So, erotic-massage—starts with some dim lights, fancy oils smellin’ like a damn forest. Lady’s hands all over ya, slippin’ and slidin’. Supposed to relax ya, but I’m sittin’ there thinkin’, “This is how ya end up in a trap.” Like Oh Dae-su, locked up, no clue what’s next. I hate it—too close, too sweaty. Gimme a steak and whiskey instead. Fun fact: ancient Greeks did this crap, called it “anatripsis.” Rich bastards gettin’ rubbed down while I’d be choppin’ wood.

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Dnipro erotic massage salons, masseuses, spa salons and outcall massage services in the Dnipro erotic city guide of City Love Companions (CLC).

So, I’m chasing this dog down Haharina Street, and I’m yelling, “Come back! I’m not done with you!” People are staring, probably thinking I’m some crazy dog whisperer or something. I finally catch him near the river, and he’s just sitting there, wagging his tail like we’re best buds. I’m like, “Dude, you just made me run a marathon!”

Russia strikes Dnipro as Ukrainian officials seek security pledges in Paris