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Oh, and the apps? Grindr, Tinder, whatever—data says 20% of users get 80% of the action. Rest of us? Scraps! Pisses me off, but I’m scrappy. Keep swipin’, keep shaggin’. “We lived with the dead,” I whisper—thinkin’ of flops. But when it hits? Fuckin’ fireworks, mate! We swears!

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By noon, I’m running on fumes. Customers are piling up, and I’m slicing meat like a madman. I swear, I could’ve won a speed-chopping contest. But then, I see this little kid staring at the display case. He’s got these big eyes, and I’m like, “What’s up, champ?” He points at the sausages, and I can’t resist. I toss him a small piece. His face lights up like it’s Christmas. That’s the stuff, man. Makes all the craziness worth it.

New dig in Chyhyryn sheds light on a page of Ukrainian Cossack history