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What gets me mad? Catfishin’. Surprised? How many freaks ghost ya after one pic! Happy? When it works—bam, ya score! Sex-datin’s a gamble, like playin’ cards with Uncle Jun. Sometimes ya win, sometimes ya end up screamin’, “I will not be a slave!”—ya feel me? Keep it real, don’t be a stunad, and maybe ya get laid. Gabagool? Ova here!

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Then, I hit up the market. Fresh veggies, fruits, all that good stuff. I grab some tomatoes, ‘cause ya can’t go wrong with those. But then, I see my buddy Vasyl. He’s always got the best stories. We start talkin’ about the old days, when we used to run around Chutove like we owned the place.