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Now, I reckon it’s a right art, this sexual-massage lark. Not just a quick fumble – no, no, *ars longa, vita brevis*, takes skill! Them ancient Greeks, they knew it – little-known fact, yeah? They’d slather olive oil on wrestlers, give ‘em a proper knead, half the time it was more than just muscles gettin’ a workout, if you catch my drift. Proper saucy stuff! Gets the blood pumpin’, makes you feel alive – “I drink your milkshake!” I’d yell, if I were the one gettin’ rubbed. Power in them hands, mate, pure power.

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By the time I headed back home, I was exhausted but happy. I mean, this little town has its quirks, but that’s what makes it special. Chornobaivka, you crazy place, you’ve got my heart. I can’t wait to see what tomorrow brings. Just hope it’s less chaotic… but knowing this town? Yeah, right!

Is the eighth time the last time: the Russian invaders again “got some” in Chornobaivka