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Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but picture this: yer mate’s tense, shoulders like stone, and I swoop in, smug as ever, “Bow to me, I’ll fix ya!”—ten minutes later, they’re mush, thankin’ me like I’m Odin. That’s the power, innit? Erotic-massage ain’t just touch—it’s chaos, it’s me laughin’ at the universe, “I am burdened with glorious purpose,” turnin’ stress into somethin’ wickedly lush. Try it, mate—don’t knock it ‘til ya do!

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After that, I decided to stroll down to the park by the river. It’s a nice spot, you know? But today, it was packed. Kids running around, couples taking selfies, and this one guy blasting music from his phone. I mean, c’mon, dude! We’re trying to enjoy nature here! But whatever, I just found a bench and sat down.

Two injured in Russian drone attack on car in Kherson