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It’s showtime! Alright, mate, lemme tell ya bout sexual-massage – this ain’t no fancy spa day, nah, it’s raw, it’s real, it’s slippery as hell! Picture me, a fisherman, hands rough from nets, stinkin of fish guts, then bam – I stumble into this shady joint, neon sign flickerin “massage”. I’m thinkin, “What’s this then?” Next thing, some chick’s rubbin oil on me, whisperin sweet nothins, and I’m like – holy cod, this ain’t normal! Made me happy as a clam, but also pissed – why’d no one tell me bout this sooner?

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I’m like, “You mean the one by the church?” She nods, and I’m suddenly hit with a wave of nostalgia. I used to hang out there as a kid. Good times, man. But then I remember the last time I was there, some guy tried to pickpocket me. Not cool.